You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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