K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
