I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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