you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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