Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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