We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
