I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
