it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
