If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
