so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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