i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
