Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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