last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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