I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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