If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
