I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
