I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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