god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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