hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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