I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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