Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just want nice things and good sex
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
