We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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