dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
