so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
