worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
