he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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