Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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