I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
