never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
