You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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