some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
