my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
