he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
