I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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