you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
