I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize