i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
