OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
