My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
