He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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