it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
