He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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