I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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