just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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