I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
