Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry ihasahappy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.

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(417): View more from Missouri

woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?

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(816): View more from Missouri

Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.

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(905): View more from Ontario

This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.

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(305): View more from Florida

Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.

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