Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
