i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
