I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
