sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
