What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
