IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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