just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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