If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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