hell yes lets make some ravioli
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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