Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
