I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
