therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
