What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize