that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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