You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
