I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
