Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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