I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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