carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
