I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Still dying that you shit outside
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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