I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
