Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
